


Shimmer

by notjustmom



Series: Words, Words, Words [212]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Shakespeare Quotations, Sick Fic, sherlock POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:37:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6811354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>shimmer: verb: shi-mər: shine with a soft tremulous light.</p><p>Late Old English scymrian, of Germanic origin; related to German schimmern, also from the English, shine; from the early 19th century</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shimmer

I try to give the impression that I am a cold, unfeeling arse, and John does an admirable job of writing me as such. It would so much easier if it were completely made of whole cloth. However.

Tonight, instead of prowling around a crime scene that is quite possibly an eight, I am sitting next to my flatmate's bedside, as he suffers from the flu. I kept telling him to get someone from that infernal cesspool he calls a clinic to give him a booster shot, but noooo...so here we are. I watch the shimmer of fever appear on his forehead, and I do what I can to keep him comfortable, which is too little. I want to crawl into bed next to him and cradle him in my arms, but we aren't like that, as much as I want it; I'm afraid to ask. All I can do is wipe his face with a cool, damp flannel and keep him hydrated. I want, I want so much to reach out for his hand and never let him go. 

"Sherlock?" he whispers.

"Hmmm?" I answer.

"Don't you have a case, or something to experiment on, or blow up?"

"Nope." I answer, holding the cup for him as he sips from the straw, this time his fingers brush against mine and I stop breathing for a brief moment. 

"Sher-?" Shit. He noticed.

"Hmmm?"

"Will you, I know you don't, we don't, but will you-" he closes his eyes and sighs. "Never mind..."

"No, ask me, please, anyth-" Damn.

"Will you come lie in bed with me, and uhm...read to me? I always slept better as a kid when I was sick if someone was next to me...shit. terrible idea."

"No. No...uhm, I don't mind, let me just, uhm, get a book and I'll be right back, okay?"

Calm down. Breathe. He wants me because I'm here, no other reason. He just wants comfort, a voice he knows, Le Carre? No..he's...rereading the Henry plays? Never took him for someone who appreciated the Bard. You always manage to surprise me, John.

He's asleep again, tossed off the blankets, too hot. I'll just get in bed and lie on top of the covers...oh. God. He's rolled against me, grabbed my hand in his. I'm done. I'm here, John. I'm right here, love. Love? Do I love him? Yes, you idiot, you always have.

"Sh-"

"I'm here. I'm going to read some Henry V, Act IV, scene 1, I bet you know this."

"I played him once, prob'ly shortest Henry in history of theatre..."

"Probably so."

"Hey..."

"Shhh...close your eyes."

"Upon the king! let us our lives, our souls,  
Our debts, our careful wives,  
Our children and our sins lay on the king!  
We must bear all. O hard condition,  
Twin-born with greatness, subject to the breath  
Of every fool, whose sense no more can feel  
But his own wringing! What infinite heart's-ease  
Must kings neglect, that private men enjoy!  
And what have kings, that privates have not too,  
Save ceremony, save general ceremony?  
And what art thou, thou idle ceremony?"

He still knows it, word for word. "What else have I missed, what else don't I know..."

Damn...

"Middle name's Hamish, never had a dog, we always had cats, don't like cats, they always scratched me. I love Ethiopian food, you won't try it, so I only eat it when I go out for lunch, I love the sound of your voice, and oh, yeah, I love you...too."

"Did I say it out loud?"

"No...but I know. You try to hide it so well, but I know how you look at me when you think...I'm not stupid."

"No, you aren't stupid, John."

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why hide it?"

"Because you don't, I thought you wanted a family, kids, the house with the fence and the mini-van, the football games, the local on Fridays..."

"I jus' wan' you, you idiot."

He doesn't know what he's saying. He can't know, he's not himself...

"Read? Please?"

"Yeah...right..."

"Canst thou, when thou command'st the beggar's knee,  
Command the health of it? No, thou proud dream,  
That play'st so subtly with a king's repose;  
I am a king that find thee, and I know  
'Tis not the balm, the sceptre and the ball,  
The sword, the mace, the crown imperial,  
The intertissued robe of gold and pearl,  
The farced title running 'fore the king,  
The throne he sits on, nor the tide of pomp  
That beats upon the high shore of this world,  
No, not all these, thrice-gorgeous ceremony,  
Not all these, laid in bed majestical,  
Can sleep so soundly as the wretched slave,  
Who with a body fill'd and vacant mind  
Gets him to rest, cramm'd with distressful bread;  
Never sees horrid night, the child of hell,  
But, like a lackey, from the rise to set  
Sweats in the eye of Phoebus and all night  
Sleeps in Elysium; next day after dawn,  
Doth rise and help Hyperion to his horse,  
And follows so the ever-running year,  
With profitable labour, to his grave:  
And, but for ceremony, such a wretch,  
Winding up days with toil and nights with sleep..."

 

His fever broke while I was sleeping. While I was sleeping with my arm draped over his hip, my lips against his hair.

"Sherlock?"

"John? John, I, uhm. How are you feeling?"

"Shhhh. It's fine, Sherlock. I'd kiss you right now, but I want to have a shower and clean my teeth and..."

"Idon'tcare."

"What?"

"I don't care. I've waited long enough. Damn. I'm Sorry. That was rude and -"

"Very sexy, and you are gorgeous, and lovely for giving up that eight to stay home with me -"

I kiss him anyway.

"Go, go clean your teeth. I'll change the sheets, then we are not leaving this bed today."

"Promise?"

"Promise."


End file.
